What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What life lesson did you learn the hard way?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

How do I get access to a dog for bestiality? I am currently unable to adopt a dog, but I want to know if there are still ways to have sex with one without getting caught.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Do all you people that took the "jab" feel lied to yet?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What are some common lies that addicts may tell themselves?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What was the worst decision you ever did?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Can you explain the concept of an annulment of marriage in the Roman Catholic Church and its effects on a previous marriage?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Who is the most dangerous or evilest person of all time?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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